I Am the One

I Am the One  

I am the one sobbing uncontrollably, collapsed in a crumpled heap on the hospital bed. I am the one with an empty womb and empty arms.

I am the one who saw the fleeting look of total despair in my husband's eyes as he cradled me in his arms and we sobbed together.

I am the one who watched the sorrow wash over my parents as they learned that their first grandchild had lived only 15 hours.

I am the one who saw the clenched fists buried into the mattress to keep from swinging them at the priest who said our baby died because I married out of the church.

I am the one who wept when a baby cried in church or the grocery store. I am the one who struggled to answer my little brother's questions about babies in heaven.

I am the one who found the article on new adoption policies and kept it open in my desk drawer to revive hope on long lonely days.

I am the one who felt the faint stirring of new life. I am the one who awakened from the anesthetic and looked into my husband's laughing eyes and heard his gentle words, “It's another boy and he can cry.”

I am the one sitting carefully in the hospital bed, praising God as tears of joy splash gently on our newborn son.

(from Class Exercises)