In The Chapel

IN THE CHAPEL

The chapel at Regional West Medical Center is not on any of the main hallways. I couldn’t find it on any of the signs. The rack labeled “Hospital Maps. Take One” was empty. But I knew there was a chapel and so I set off to find it. Finally, I spotted a sign “Chaplin” and next door was the chapel.

In the front is a stained glass wall. There is a small wooden altar with a wooden cross on it. There are about 20 chairs facing the front and some shelves or files in the back. I did not sit down but instead leaned against a small partition resembling an arch support.

I let the warm air and the diffused light envelope me. I poured out the fears and anxieties. I remembered the joys and the sorrows, the work and the fun, the triumphs and the defeats of the past 47 years. I named the plans we have made for the future. I recounted the many blessings because we’ve always tried to walk on God’s path.

In the deep, undisturbed silence of the little chapel, I felt God embrace me, I remembered the hardest prayer of all but the one that makes all the difference. Relinquishment. “Oh, dear Lord, as much as I love this man, I love You more. Thy will be done.”

I don’t know how long I stood there. Soon, “How Great Thou Art” came bubbling up from the depths of my being, followed immediately by “Amazing Grace.” I left the chapel totally surrounded by peace and calmness. I returned to ICU and the vigil at the bedside of my beloved, no longer afraid of what is happening because whatever is coming, God is already there. Our son says, “She’s stubborn.” The Doctor says, “No, she’s stoic. There’s a difference.” I prefer “serene.” Stubborn or stoic, my serenity comes from knowing that everything is in God’s control and that I am loved. And, God is good!